A Casual Fan's Guide to Why Alistair Overeem is a Fucking Badass (And Why You Should Care About the Main Event of UFC 141)

There's really only one profession wherein you may become a famous celebrity and a household name simply for being a giant mountain of a man.  Professional wrestling isn't the most glamourous of occupations in the eyes of many but everyone loves a massive heavyweight athelete, even if they are competing in a fake sport.  Brock Lesnar is one such athelete who made his name on the world stage by pretending to fight people and thus it's no surprise why he's a huge draw for the UFC.

Alistair Overeem, like Lesnar, is a walking redwood tree with arms but he doesn't share the same household notoriety as Brock does.  Hardcore and even mildly hardcore fans aside, the general mixed martial arts fan doesn't really know who Alistair Overeem is.  Sure, you've seen him recently on UFC broadcasts but if your knowledge of MMA goes only as far back as Chuck Liddel's last championship defense then you're sadly out of the loop as to why this match between 'Ubereem' and 'The Next Big Thing' is such a big deal.  It goes beyond just being a fight between a bulldozer and a locomotive.  Here are five reasons why you should be hyped to see Alistair Overeem in the UFC (and more specifically this epic matchup with Brock Lesnar):

5.  His knees should be nicknamed "Fat Man and Little Boy"

Landing with the force of an H-Bomb, Overeem's knees never fail to put an opponent away.  8 of his 14 KO/TKO victories have come by way of his world destroying knees.  The knee is an oft-used weapon in the world of kickboxing and generally being a kickboxer in his style of fighting Overeem has honed those weapons to the point of devastation.  If Overeem were dropped from an airplane over Japan the country would immediately surrender any and all future wars for the rest of time.

Watch this video of Overeem's knees getting all atomic on Kazuyuki Fujita:

4.  He likes to choke people

Despite being a dangerous striker almost 55% of Overeem's MMA wins are by way of submission.  His first win in professional competition (in 1999!) was by guillotine choke.  While the guillotine is one of his best weapons (he's won with it 8 times) he has victories with a variety of mat-tappers, including the americana, kimura, rear naked choke and even one win with a triangle choke.  Oh, and he also made UFC veteran Paul Buentello submit  by kneeing him in the body (which won him the Strikeforce Heavyweight Title, by the way).

Here he is tapping James Thompson with a standing guillotine:

3.  He's not only a monster in MMA

K-1 is an uber popular kickboxing organization in countries in Europe and Asia.  Top fighters in K-1 are some of the best strikers in the world, having focused their entire lives on striking disciplines like Muay Thai and Tae Kwon Do.  In order to rise to the top of K-1 you need to be able to strike with pinpoint accuracy, and strength, with each one of your limbs (and knees and elbows).  In other words, you don't just walk into K-1 and become a champion.  Unless you're Alistair Overeem.

Earning modest success during his dabbles in K-1 earlier in his career, including a win over  top contender Badr Hari in 2009, Overeem entered the K-1 World Grand Prix heavyweight tournament in 2010.  He blasted his way through to the finals with a couple of first round KOs and a TKO in the semi-finals when he broke his opponent's arm with a kick.  In the finals Overeem faced the 3-time champion and living legend Peter Aerts (the two actually fought once before, in 2009, with Overeem winning by unanimous decision) and stopped the kickboxing megastar in the first round.  With that win he became the only fighter to ever hold a title in both MMA and K-1 at the same time.  So not only are his knees mystical weapons; his feet, fists and elbows can also blast an opponent into a different dimension.

Here's Overeem's 2010 K-1 World Grand Prix Championship fight against Peter Aerts:

2.  Did I mention he's fucking huge?

 

1.  Horse Meat
 

Horses!  Not just for glue anymore!

Not only good for little girls' birthday parties and dragging criminals across the desert in the Wild West, horses apparently also provide top quality meat.  Similar to beef nutritionally, horse meat is low in fat and sodium and extremely high in protein.

Horse meat tastes slightly sweet and is very tender, especially the older the animal was when it was slaughtered.  It seems strange and maybe even taboo to people in North America but in many countries around the world horse meat is a commonly consumed meat, including The Netherlands, coincidently where Alistair Overeem is from.

In a recent interview Overeem conveyed his diet as such,

"Now I mainly eat horse meat, rice and protein shakes."

It sounds like a boring way to eat but Overeem, who used to fight in the light heavyweight division, credits that diet for helping him turn into the mound of muscle he is today.  I mean, it can't all be steroids, right?

On Friday night two monstrous men will clash inside the Octagon and the face of mixed-martial-arts will be changed forever.  The winner will get to challenge for the UFC Heavyweight Title and the loser, well, the loser will probably enjoy a face that will be changed forever.

Close Call

Alistair Overeem is a fucking monster.  Take a look at him:

"Hello ladies."

He is 6'5" and weighs 260 pounds and his arms are almost as thick as my penis.  He's goddamn huge.  He's also the former Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion, Dream Heavyweight Champion and K-1 World Grand Prix Champion.  He is the only man in combat sports history to hold a world title in both mixed-martial-arts and kickboxing.  A monster.

This is why his fight with Brock Lesnar at UFC 141 on December 30th is my most anticipated fight in, I don't know, forever.  It's my most anticipated fight ever, let's put it that way.  Brock is also a monster.  He's a former UFC Heavyweight Champion with less than 10 fights in his career and was one of the greatest NCAA Division 1 wrestlers of all time.  This will be a heavyweight fight for the ages.


This ridiculously awesome fight was threatened recently to be cancelled.  Why, you may ask?  Here's a picture of Alistair Overeem from around 2006:

Nerd.

So clearly he's gotten bigger and the Nevada State Athletic Commission wants to make sure his biceps are on the up and up.  Overeem provided a blood test to the NSAC which came back clean.  Phew.  He's not in the clear, yet, though.

First, he must provide an observed (perverts) urine test within the next 72 hours.  Then, he must be tested upon arriving to the U.S. from his home in the Netherlands prior to his fight at UFC 141.  And third, he is required to provide two more tests after his fight with Lesnar.  And fourth, he has to solve a Rubik's Cube in under 4 minutes while hanging upside down.  Phew?  Clearly the folks over in the USA aren't convinced he's achieved such massive muscular gains naturally.

It's ridiculous that people immediately jump to steroids when someone has gained a lot of muscle.  There are natural ways to achieve huge gains, if one uses the proper nutrition, exercises and yes, legal supplements.  Overeem didn't just suddenly explode and get bigger, it's been a gradual increase.  The guy is only 31 years old and it's completely natural that at the beginning of his career, when he was much younger, he would be much smaller.   Especially if he wasn't on a muscle gaining workout regiment. 

I don't necessarily fault the NSAC for wanting to make sure all fighters are competing fairly, but why don't they just come right out and say, "Hey Alistair, we think you're a juice monkey."

"Hello ladies."

 

UFC 140

 

Frank Mir giveth and Frank Mir taketh away.

Mir almost handed the victory to Big Nog in their fight last night by putting his big head right in front of Nog's fists, almost getting knocked out.  He recovered though, and not only became the first man to submit Nog, but he broke his fucking arm. 

Spaghetti?

Look, I'm no scientist, but even I know bones are really hard and it takes quite a bit of force to break one.  I've broken my elbow and dislocated the same one and both times it took the force of my entire body falling hard onto concrete from a height higher than I am tall.  At weigh-ins on Friday Frank Mir looked like a taller Lou Ferrigno.  In other words, he was jacked.

I wouldn't be surprised if he were around the 280 or 285 mark come fight night on Saturday.  He definitely didn't look as cut.  Imagine a 280 pound jiu jitsu master cranking on your arm?  The bone break isn't so surprising when you think of it that way, but what did surprise me was how Nog didn't lose his mind screaming in pain.  That's some zen shit right there.  It's easily the submission of the year and given it's the second time Mir has broken someone's arm (Tim Sylvia, that loveable lugnut) I've half a mind to start calling him "The Arm Collector."

And now, The Main Event!

Machida came in looking bigger than he's ever been, having definitely added muscle to his frame.  Could be he's been on the Frank Mir Workout Program but I'm guessing it was meant as somewhat of a counter measure for the strength and size of Jon Jones.

In round one Machida was at his counter-striking and elusive best.  Jones attempted three spinning back kicks in the round and missed all of them, in fact he didn't land any significant shots at all.  Lyoto, on the other hand, got into a groove in the second half of the round and landed a few decent strikes.  He was getting off first and connected with a couple of solid body kicks and countered Jones with a straight left to the head that staggered the champion. 
 
Jones wasn't necessarily in any big danger in the round but Machida looked good.  It seemed as if The Dragon might be onto something in this fight, using his speed and slipperiness to avoid any danger himself and score points on the champ.  Machida took this round 10-9 on my scorecard.


This was really the first time Jon Jones had ever faced any adversity in a fight.  He didn't hit Machida at all, got hit a few times himself, and overall played right into his opponent's game plan.  How would the 24-year old, with only 4 years of MMA experience, respond?

Well, he would respond like a superstar.  A tentative first half of the second round made it seem like Machida was going to keep up his momentum from the first.  That is until around the half way point when the two fighters came together and Jones secured a takedown.  Jones almost immediately landed a vicious elbow that sliced a bright red gash across Machida's forehead.  In an interview post event Machida said that after the elbow he was dizzy and couldn't see clearly.  I get dizzy and can't see clearly after drinking beers at the bar watching the UFC and I can't imagine having to fight a world class warrior with a buzz.

The fight didn't last much longer as Jones sunk in what would have been the submission of the night had Frank Mir not ripped Big Nog's arm off.

Heads shouldn't twist that way.  Except in The Exorcist.

That is one twisted standing guillotine.  No air and no blood to the brain means nighty night, have fun in sleep land. 

Zzzzzzzzz.

Some people like to give credit to fighters for not "giving up" or not tapping out when stuck in a submission but I think it's stupid.  If you are stuck in something that could seriously shorten your career, or even worse end it, just give up.  There is no shame in submitting, it's just part of the game.

So far in his career Jon Jones has defeated a living legend in Shogun Rua for the Light Heavyweight Title, defended it against a former champion in Rampage Jackson, and defended it again against another former champion in Lyoto Machida.  In every single one of his fights he has dominated and has scarcely been in any trouble, and now sits as a 2-time defending champion with a 15-1 record.  Not bad for someone only born in 1987.  His next fight will likely be the winner of Rashad Evans vs. Phil Davis, though with the way his luck goes if Rashad wins he'll end up getting injured and that fight will never happen. 

Davis won't stand a chance; his stand up is not close to being good enough to handle the size and dynamic striking of Jones.  Rashad, with his wrestling background, slick striking and overall quickness looks to have the best chance in the division of unseating the champ, but I don't think even he can defeat Jon Jones right now.  Who can?  A heavyweight maybe?  A tank?

UFC 139 Main Event Re-watch

It's been a few weeks since the epic fight that some have deemed "the greatest MMA fight of all-time" and opinions on who should have won are still varied.  Some think Shogun should have taken the victory over Hendo, whereas others even think the fight was a draw.

After my first viewing I thought Hendo deserved the victory (I also though both fighters deserved a beer and a foot rub, stat!).  Going into the fight my feeling on Mauricio Rua was that his career was maybe coming to a close.  He had looked slow and uninterested in his last few fights.  Granted he knocked out Lyoto Machida and gained his revenge against Forrest Griffin but those seemed like blips after lacklustre performances against the likes of Mark Coleman and the first Machida fight and a complete and utter domination at the hands of Jon Jones.

Clearly Shogun isn't finished just yet.  A fighter with anything less than ultimate drive and determination would have quit long before the final bell against the pummelling Dan Henderson was dishing out.  For the first three rounds Hendo battered and bloodied Shogun, trying to force him to stop fighting back.  Rua didn't just not quit, he battled back and laid a beating of his own on Hendo.  And because of that we witnessed a fight that was, cue Kanye, one of the greatest of all time (of all time!).  But did Shogun deserve a better result at the end of the fight?  Let's find out.

Round 1

 

The best kind of "feeling out" round you could hope for.  Both guys were somewhat tentative trying to gauge the other yet they engaged when the opportunities were there.  As always Dan Henderson's bazooka of a right hand was loaded, lazer scoped onto Shogun's chin, just waiting for the right time to fire.

Henderson landed the first big shot, dropping Shogun with a crisp bazooka blast and then pounced on him trying to secure a guillotine.  Rua escaped the submission attempt but was trapped against the cage as Henderson shell shocked him with mortar blast after mortar blast.  Rua's defenses held true though and he survived, albeit with a bloody cut over his left eye.  Henderson continued to stalk Rua, controlling the Octagon, looking for an opening for the bazooka.  Later in the round, Shogun would catch Hendo with a behind the ear punch that gave Henderson the droopy legs.  Rua tried some ground and pound hammer punches but Hendo turtled up and eventually escaped using a single leg.  The round ended with Shogun coming forward, trying to land uppercuts and head kicks.

A fantastic opening round and one that sets the stage for an incredible battle going into round two.  Shogun had an issue of standing right in front of Henderson, allowing Dan to load up and connect with strikes.  When under fire Rua moved straight back, rather than trying to slip away to the side, which further gave Henderson a target.  Henderson was also able to avoid Shogun's takedown attempts and only got hit with one really good strike.

Though Shogun did land that hard punch which dropped Hendo and was coming forward toward the end of the round, I have to give this one to Henderson for better Octagon control, aggressiveness, landing cleaner shots and doing more damage.

Round 2 

In between rounds Shogun's corner tells him something to the extent of, "You have to avoid his punches."  Hey, thanks guys.  That's like asking your hockey coach how you should defend against the other team and he says, "Don't let them score goals."

This wasn't as exciting a round as the first was and you could tell that fatigue was starting to creep in already.  Shogun continued to stand right in front on Henderson and Dan made him pay by landing two bazooka blasts; a cross and an uppercut, in succession.  Shogun landed a few nice punches of his own but Hendo definitely did more damage this round.  At one point Hendo had Shogun trapped up against the cage and the crowd started booing.  I like to call that ironic foreshadowing.

Both fighters landed some decent strikes but Hendo's were harder and did more damage.  Hendo takes this round.

Round 3

Three rounds to go.  The ref made a mistake and called out that this was the last but Hendo, ever the gentleman, corrected him with a face that said, "I've got 15 more minutes to punch this other guy in the head."

In between rounds Dan's corner told him about Shogun, "He's dead."  There it is again, ironic foreshadowing.

Shogun started the round being the aggressor, narrowly missing a number of good strikes and landing one hard body kick.  Henderson, looking more and more tired as the fight goes on, then landed the dreaded leg kick-BAZOOKA combo!  Shogun dropped faster than a choir boy's balls in a private meeting with the priest and Henderson got right on top of him looking to finish with grenade-like ground and pound.  Somehow Shogun survived the onslaught and defended himself enough to keep the ref from granting him mercy.  Rua managed to turn Dan around into a potential heel hook and looked for a submission, mere seconds after being thumped as if his head was the play area of an arcade's Whack-A-Mole game.  He couldn't get the hold but it gave him the room to stand back up.  And once up Shogun faded and could hardly keep going.  Just kidding!  Shogun fucking came right back at Henderson, landed some punches and got a takedown of his own!  If you could measure the size of heart a fighter has from 1 to 10, with 1 being Ping Pong Ball and 10 being Elephant Testicles, Shogun's clearly lands in the realm of pachyderm genitalia.

On my first viewing of this fight I thought for sure that was a 10-8 round for Dan Henderson, but watching it now I don't think I can go that far.  Yes, Henderson landed that big shot and clobbered Rua on the ground but Shogun defended, fought back, almost got a submission, got a takedown himself and gave Dan a taste of his own knuckley medicine.  Henderson landed the better shot and did more damage so he still takes the round but I'm going against the general opinion and not giving him a 10-8.

Round 4

In between rounds Shogun's corner asked him his name to make sure he wasn't completely out of it.  "My name is Mauricio and I'm on planet Pluto and I'm married to Megan Fox."  If only the ref were there to hear that.  Pluto isn't even a planet, this fight would have been stopped.

Just like last round Shogun started this one strong landing some strikes and getting a takedown on Hendo.  Unfortunately for Rua, Henderson turned that takedown around to his own advantage, securing, if only briefly, a crucifix and the mount position.  Shogun showed good defense getting out of both but it was his aggression that lead to those bad areas.  Not a good sign.  Upon standing back up Shogun continued to press Henderson but got taken down again and almost guillotined.  Henderson tried for more ground and pound but the space created between them due to that effort allowed Shogun to stand up once again.  What a fight!

From here the round is Shogun's as even after being taken down and smashed he gets up and keeps coming forward!  He lands a hard uppercut that wobbles Hendo!  Rua keeps moving straigh ahead, landing strikes on a visibly exhausted Dan Henderson and scores a takedown!  Full mount!  Guillotine attempt by Shogun!  Henderson spins out and finds himself on top!  Holy fucking shit!  And the round ends!

Henderson was clearly exhausted in this round and considering how in shape he looked one must assume it was his 41 years catching up to him.  

I watched this round three times to figure out how to score it and I could only come up with one conclusion.  Hendo started the round great, getting on top and landing some good shots but around the 2:30 mark Rua turned things around, until right near the end when Hendo spun out of a submission attempt into full mount.  This is a draw round if I've ever seen one.

Round 5

In between rounds Hendo's corner tells him not to exchange with Shogun but to clinch with him.  Clearly this will allow the crowd to chant "USA!  USA!" more, ensuring the victory.

American sports fans are fucking stupid sometimes.

This round saw Shogun secure a takedown within the first 30 seconds and get the mount before the first minute was over.  Rua would maintain the mount position for virtually the entirety of the round, raining down punches on an incredibly tired Dan Henderson.  Shogun was way too tired himself to finish the fight but if he had this position against an exhausted Henderson in the first or second round he would have destructo'd Dan's face.  At any rate, Shogun easily takes the round.

Final Score:  48-47 Dan Henderson

All three judges at ringside scored the fight exactly the same as I have. 

Wow.  An absolutely epic battle that is not only one of the greatest MMA fights of all time, but one of the greatest fights in combat sports history.  This stands right up there with the likes of such legendary boxing matches like Ward vs. Gatti and Hearns vs. Leonard.  I'm completely satisfied with the score I came up with and I'm left feeling really happy knowing the judges at the fight got this one right.

Now, as for the greatest MMA fights of all time there is a lot of competition.  Frye vs. Takayama.  Big Nog vs. Herring (brutally underrated in my opinion).  Little Nog vs. Shogun...  I know that right now I can't say with certainty if this was the greatest fight in MMA history, maybe after a few years history and perspective will help determine that, but I think I can say that is the greatest fight in UFC history.  I think.

Coming up next on Superman Punch! will be a review of the UFC 140 main event; Jon Jones vs. Lyoto Machida for the Light Heavyweight Title.  My prediction right now is Jones takes this fight in the 4th round by TKO.